Imagine I go to Costco and buy one of their large lasagnas. My family are looking forward to eating it for dinner but on the way home I fall in love with it , and it falls in love with me, so I can’t eat it anymore.
Arriving home, my family say they’ll respect my new life partner, but I notice that my son in particular keeps looking at it and licking his lips. Nonetheless, he keeps it together, even joining my lasagne friend and I for the occasional night out and picnic in the country.
But then my evil neighbour discovers that I’m dating a lasagne and decides that he wants to eat it, not so much because it’s tasty but because he wants to upset me. My family rally round to defend my new lasagne partner and join battle against the enemy. They end up killing my neighbour which is a bit probably a bit extreme, but that’s what they do.
Now that we are safe once more, I explain to my lasagne love that I can turn it into a real human being and we can be together properly at last, but my lasagne says no, they want to stay as a lasagne.
That was the film Twilight explained through the medium of lasagne. I realise the film was released 18 years ago but I’ve only just seen it.
Face it, if you’re coming to this blog for up to date news you’re really looking in the wrong place.
